"A Story of Forgiveness and Healing"

Growing up in a family where everyone is very vocal on their opinion is sometimes a daunting task. I myself was raised to be loving, fun filled, honest as well as friendly. It was something that my grandparents, my great aunt and uncles and my mom instilled in me and my sister. Often, I would ask the older family members, "Why do I have to love people all the time?” They would swiftly reply, "Because, It’s what God requires of us."

As I went on in life, they would also tell me, “Always be careful how you treat others because it will come back on you.” Here lately, those teachings have truly been in my mind as well as my spirit. In a time where it is so easy to just let a person have it, one has to try and be at peace with everyone and follow peace.
When I was growing up, people were extremely mean and hateful. I was a tyke who loved to read and watch educational things on the television. My other cousins were out running around and I was under the older men and women of the family. I remember the hurt for others perceptions of who they thought I should be and what I should be doing. My Mom would often exclaim, “Darian Demetri Murray, You are not responsible for how people treat you. You are however, Responsible for how you treat people.”






Me being the warrior that I am, I would often be angry with her. I constantly wondered why she would not defend herself to certain people and situations.
There was a season where my mother and her boyfriend had dated for at least 10 to 11 years. The boyfriend would not be faithful and he was somewhat abusive. I would see him around the town with others and think to myself, “When will all this dysfunction come to an end.” My mother loved him with her whole heart and soul. She would cook daily for him, make sure he was happy and made sure he was treated like a King.
He was involved with this one particular “Woman” and I use that term very lightly. Everyone knew he was involved with her. There would be times where I was out and about and she would attempt to ridicule me with sayings that would make the weakest human revolt. I however, Defended myself on numerous occasions. She would pass by our home, be at his job, etc.
A lot of her actions remained between my mother and myself. Even thru all of this, my mother continued to respect him. There had been mental abuse because of the woman and my mom continued to respond like a Complete Lady.
I attended a wedding reception and the woman was in attendance. She looked as if she had hit hard times. In her face, you could see the wear and tear of years of partying as well as drug use.
I promptly asked my sister, “Why was that woman attending a family reception.” She then informed me that she was there with other guest. And then she dropped a MAJOR BOMB on me that set me back at least 4 feet. She said, "Oh yeah, she is mom’s GARBAGE MAN now.”
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not one who is at a loss for words. But man, I was totally shocked. My mom had a bone marrow transplant about 10 years ago and she then had totally knee replacement surgery on both her knees. She has to use a walker for time to time and she can’t take out her own trash.
My sister then informed me that the Garbage man has to come in her yard and pull her trash to the curb for her. She then has to empty it and put it back into the place she pulled it from. I immediately called my mom and asked her was any of this true. She confirmed it for me and she did not say anything bad about the woman.
She simply stated, "Remember what I taught you, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW THEY TREAT YOU, BUT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU TREAT OTHERS.”
In life, I have found that often you don't have to respond to every hateful person and/or their deeds. This story shines forth with Forgiveness and Love!